


Doubts Will Eat You Alive

by DeannaEmrys



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 19 and 24, Afganistan war, Airports, Angst, Anxiety, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Human AU, Kid Fic, Kisses, Lack of Communication, M/M, OFC - Freeform, Oneshot, Parents, War, Worry, daddy merlin, hurt in action, mordern day au, papa arthur, reunited, soldier!Arthur, young Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-13
Updated: 2012-07-13
Packaged: 2017-11-09 21:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/458638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeannaEmrys/pseuds/DeannaEmrys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU One-shot Universe.<br/>Arthur has been away at war for a whole year leaving Merlin to raise their daughter alone. <br/>When he finally gets home will he still be the man Merlin fell in love with? Or has too much changed?</p><p> </p><p>* Updated *</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubts Will Eat You Alive

1 year.

12 months.

52 weeks.

365 days.

No matter how you look at it, it's a long, long time to be away from someone, especially if that person is your best friend, or your life partner, or the father of your child. Even worse when that person is all three.

It's especially hard if you're a nineteen year old university student with a two year old daughter to care for.

A two year old that was currently pulling on the leg of Merlin's tight blue jeans.

"Daaaaaaddyyy, when's Papa gonna get here?" 

Merlin shakes out of his day dream to pick up his beautiful daughter; all blue eyes and sharp cheek bones framed with golden wavy hair. She's the exact mix of him and Arthur, right down to their attitudes.

"Well his flight lands at two so," He pauses to check his watch, "about ten minutes baby. You wanna go get something to eat?" 

Ellie shakes her head, no, curling into his shoulder with an adorable pout unconsiously twisting her tiny baby fingers into Merlin's unruly black hair. 

He thanks the Gods that she didn't inherit his messy curls.

"Nah imma," she pauses for a giant yawn before nuzzling futher into his neck, "imma wait for papa."

A huge grin stretches Merin's face, Ellie's just as stubborn as her dad, whose flight should be landing any minute now.

Merlin anxiously shifts Ellie's weight and starts walking towards the arrivals gate, his heart hammering in his chest so hard he's surprised Ellie can't feel it.

He knows he's being stupid panicking about seeing Arthur again, but aside from the odd letter he'd recieved or the scarse video chats Arthur was allowed, (which were saved almost exclusivly for Ellie), they hadn't really spoken.

What if he didn't love him anymore, or he'd fallen in love with another soldier, bonding over fighting for their lives and country. Or what if the war had moulded him into someone who wouldn't fit into their lives anymore? Into someone who couldnt function in the real world?

What if Merlin couldn't relate to what he'd seen and done and they fell apart?

What if? What if? What if?

A flash of blonde amoungst the crowd makes Merlin's breath catch in his throat.

No not the right colour, Arthur's hair was gold like Ellie's, that man's was dirty blonde almost light brown.

His pulse manages to settle down slightly as he focuses on his breathing; in... and out. He steadies himself. An asthma attack in the middle of a crowded airport with Ellie in his skinny arms was not going to happen. He cuddles her closer instead, burrowing his nose into her soft locks and breathing in her familar scent, all talc powder and her strawberry baby shampoo. A sense of calm engulfes the anxiety riddled man. Much better.

Even if Arthur didn't want Merlin anymore at least he had his baby girl who loved him unconditionally. He'd raised her this last year all by himself, with help from a baby sitting Gaius who was completely under Ellie's spell. That was another trait she got from her Papa, an ability to make everyone fall in love with her.  
So yeah, Merlin could be fine without Arthur, he just didn't want to be without him. But if Arthur really didn't want him anymore he could deal with it... Of course he could, he and Ellie would be fine. A single parent at nineteen wasn't ideal or easy but he'd been doing it for a whole year.

Another flash of blonde the exact same shade as Arthur draws Merlin's gaze. No, just a women, small and dainty everything Arthur wasn't, although he could be so gentle when he wanted to.

"Daddy! Where's Papa?" Ellie's voice drags Merlin out of his head for the second time.

"He should be here soon baby, see if you can spot him."

She grins as wide as she can showing her few baby teeth before wiggling in his arms to look out for Arthur.

Merlin remembers the first time she smiled like that, she was curled up in Arthur's arms whilst Merlin danced around the living room to Britney Spears, Arthur had laughed so hard, telling Ellie that her daddy was silly and couldn't dance. Merlin had stuck his tongue out and continued dancing resulting in him falling over one of her toys and landing with an unflattering 'ompf' on his boney butt. And then, just like that, she'd beamed and lit up the entire room. Just like Arthur lit up Merlin's life.

Oh Gods what if he didnt love him anymore?

"Daddy! Daddy look!"

"What is it baby?"

"MERLIN! ELLIE!" 

Ellie struggles in Merlin's arms excitedly instantly recognizing her Papa's voice.

Where is he? There's too many people. Merlin can't see him, and then Ellie's being tugged out of his hold and being spun around giggling at the top of her lungs.

Merlin heart is hammering again trying to make a break for it but then Arthur stops spinning and finally meet his fiancee's eyes. He's smiling so softly as Ellie curls into his broad chest.

His eyes are still the brightest blue, his hair cropped too short for Merlin's liking but still the same golden blonde, he's lost weight and he's not putting any pressure on his left leg and he looks slightly older then his twenty four years, but he's still so unbelievably gorgeous that Merlin forgets how to breathe.   
He's still in one piece, and from the tears in his eyes, still overwhelmingly in love with the younger man.

"You look well," Merlin manages to stutter out causing Arthur to break into a grin that mirrors Ellie's perfectly. 

"Gods I've missed you," he annouces voice rough and full of emotion before he's gathering the younger up into his arms crashing their lips together in a kiss that Merlin never wants to end and it was like finally coming home even though Merlin hasn't been anywhere.

The emptiness that had ached through his absence begins knitting itself back together, the pieces slotting back into place.

Maybe the year apart didnt matter, maybe loving eachother was enough. 

Hopefully that would always be enough.

And while they were togther, maybe nothing else would ever matter.

 

The end :D


End file.
